introspection
I thought I would start my blog with a post that documents a recent series of events that took place. I was out of town for a few days interviewing with a few companies - I am between jobs you see - and happened to be part of a social gathering that gave me enough time to sit and think…
I am selective about the people I am friendly with and sometimes this is not exactly a good thing. I have known this all along but I never thought it was a big deal but I came to realise that it is something that needs urgent attention. It does leave me struggling to converse with people I have just met. But more importantly, I tend to overlook genuinely nice people around me because of this and they just get left out of my life this way. You know, the kinds who think stuff at the same wavelength as you and end up having quite a bit in common with you!
I feel it is some sort of mechanism I have developed early on - not to sound too weird - to block out the noise that is a major part of humanity. Is there any quantifiable way of knowing a person’s character without having to delvy into the possibly ugly muck that can be their true self? Maybe not but then again everything can be based on pure logic. That is how our minds are wired, isn’t it? People claim to trust their heart and all that jazz but at the end of the day, even your instincts stem from logic your subconscious dictates; from events that have transpired in your life and cause alarm bells to go off in your head at the right time.
I usually fall back to instinct at times like this and I am not afraid to. Why should I be because it has rarely failed me and I acknowledge it to be logic rather than something inexplicable. Surely enough life found a way to make me eat my words; I was at this juncture where my instincts been proven wrong. So much was I consumed by this thought that I was unable to pay attention to the heated conversation around me. I say this not with sadness or regret, but with a sense of enjoyment. I love to put my mind to use. I was consumed for hours at end, conflicting thoughts not willing to give into each other until I reached a point when there was a moment of calm. A point where it just clicked and I knew.
Today I learned, well a few days ago at least, and I’m damn glad I did, that Randy Pausch was right when he said, “Just give them a little more time and they almost always will impress you.”